During the months between November and January, most of us in the United States (and across the globe) celebrate the season’s holidays. For those of us that live in subdivisions, you most likely will see an acceptable generic “holiday” greeting at the subdivision’s entrance, such as “Season’s Greetings” or “Peace on Earth”. Those same subdivisions may have seasonal wreaths, garland, lights and perhaps decorated trees. Most likely there will be  residents who are offended. Others will ask why there can’t also be a nativity put up, which is the essence of their belief in the Savior’s birth. The answer is that it may offend those who don’t believe. There are many in fact who may feel that their holiday isn’t represented such as Hanukkah, Poinsettia Day, Winter Solstice, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, and even National Fruitcake Day! What about those who don’t believe in anything and find ANY celebratory decorations offensive. What are HOAs, Property Managers and apartment communities to do!! It certainly makes the holiday season a bit more stressful if you are on the decorating detail!!

How can you bring residents together instead of offending? Well, that’s a tough question because invariably there will always be someone not happy…..that’s life as we know it! But, I thought about some solutions that could work in certain neighborhoods and resident complexes. How about creating a holiday decorating contest with residents able to choose the holiday they wish to decorate for. This can bring out the creativity in your neighbors, and really get them in the mood to celebrate the holiday, no matter what holiday they’re celebrating. Or, how about a toy drive that will benefit the local homeless shelter or children’s charity? If hunger is a pressing issue in the community, why not host a canned food drive that will benefit a local food pantry? Make it a contest, with the winners given a gift card.

Dr. Steven M. Sultanoff wrote this parody on the poem “The Night Before Christmas” in his politically correct version. I would like to share it here:

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck…
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”,
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,

were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the Cops,
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened,
and his fur trimmed red suit was called “unenlightened”.

To show you the strangeness of today’s ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.

So…half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
who suddenly said she’d had enough of this life,
joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz,
demanding from now on that her title was Ms.

And as for gifts…why, he’d never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur…
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets…they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.
And fairy tales…while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
for they raised the hackles of those psychological,
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football…someone might get hurt,
besides – playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe.
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,
he just couldn’t figure out what to do next?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day.
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy – with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue,
everyone, everywhere…even you!
So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth…